Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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