5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
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It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
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this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.