Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.