I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet