Tell her she can't have a vagina
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
