I got chris browned last night
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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