Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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