Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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