me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
