Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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