I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I enjoy the company of your penis
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
false alarm, still single
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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