Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
