Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
