Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
