I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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