Your mouth is God's brothel.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize