My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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