My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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