Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
oh god was she eating orange peels again
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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