i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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