My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
how does that bad decision feel?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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