How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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