And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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