I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
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