I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
