The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
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my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
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I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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