Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize