He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
