Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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