i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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