This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize