Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize