Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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