No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
