people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The uberlube is also flammable
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
