I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
it was like eating out sand paper
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
