that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
