that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
