these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
