Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
