haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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