***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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