Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just cut my nipple shaving
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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