He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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