Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize