dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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