It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
