don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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