you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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