You're so nebulous sometimes
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
