My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
