Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
