did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think your dad took our porno
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
