are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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