Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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