this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
