The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
