she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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